”“They would pay me a whole lot more if I get that promotion.”“Oh well, not a complete waste then. At least I got the knowledge that my wife is a whore.”Despite the tear tracks on her cheeks, she actually had the balls to look crossly at me for this. “Please don’t let this become about name-calling! Be reasonable, please. Or at least polite.”“Hang on a sec, you voluntarily fucked and sucked and did god knows what else with that slimy fat fuck for hours on end so he wouldn’t block your promotion, which would have given you a pay raise. Which means you fucked him for a paycheque - money. That’s the very definition of whore in any dictionary you care to name. In fact, your picture may be in some of them under that entry. And I should be reasonable?”Her mouth opened and closed. I don’t think she had ever suspected this side of me. The Lord of Fucking Smash Mouth.Of course, it helped that I’d had a couple of hours to stew about it and think of a few choice phrases, while she was freshly. The door was stuck. The vertical bolt at thebottom of the door had been jarred loose and slid into it's hole in thefloor. I was locked out, keyless and hopeless! I had horrificpremonitions of my mother letting me in and forcing me to explainmyself. How the hell do I explain this? I didn't buy this girlyunderwear by accident. This mini-skirt didn't fall out of the attic (orfrom heaven for that matter). Pigtails are not the latest craze forteenage boys. All this is obvious, but why am I dressed like this? Ihave no idea. How could I know? Please don't make me add tears to thiscaricature of girlish innocence before you.No, I had to avoid negative thinking. I have the phone, who would Inormally ring if I was locked out? Damn, it has to be mum. "Hello?" Hi, mum, it's Robert" "Oh, hi Rob, is everything okay?" "Yeah,fine...eh, well y'see I kinda locked myself out of the house" "Oh shit.Hmmm, let's see, I won't be home until nine or so, same as Laura.Actually, the only thing is to call to Ann.
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